According to the Merriam Webster Dictionary, the definition of “trauma” relevant to this article is:
“a disordered psychic or behavioural state resulting from severe mental or emotional stress or physical injury” and “an emotional upset”.
In our lives, there may be events or situations that make a big impact in a hurtful way. For example, a car accident may create physical injury to the body, which in turn may affect our emotional and mental health. Or, an event might be devastating to us emotionally like the death of a loved one. Although there is not a direct physical trauma, the body becomes affected by the emotional and mental impact. I would consider these big “T” events. Events that we view as “me, before this happened”, and “me, after this happened”.
In this article, I want to address small “t” events.
Sometimes there are small events that happen in our lives, that on the surface should not make a big impact however. when combined with a series of other small traumatic events, they tip the scale.These seemingly small “t” events start to add up until we just can’t take another one.
When I was 17 years old, my family moved from Montreal to Toronto.. With the distance between us, I broke up with my wonderful boyfriend from Montreal. I started at a university that I did not really choose to attend, but went along with my parents’ plans for my studies. I had to hitchhike to school for the first weeks because the local transit was on strike.
None of these events in themselves were tragic, but I found myself walking around in a daze, unfocused, and unable to concentrate. I was always a top student in high school, but suddenly I lost my motivation. I was in classes where I could not understand the material, and sometimes could not even understand the words the professors were saying. It was as though I was listening to a foreign language.
I started to experience pain in my stomach and did not really want to eat. I tried to view this all as an adventure, but this wore off quickly and as the weeks in school went on, I was doing poorly on my tests and assignments.
What saved me from being totally down on myself, was getting involved in a theatre production at the university. I started to build some friendships and slowly gained back my self-confidence through acting. However, my grades were still falling off track and I struggled to just get through university.
Had I addressed my emotions, do you think that I might have had a better experience?
I believe that I would have been able to choose the right path, or even the right school, and head into a direction more suited to me. Instead, one event – a small “t” – after another led me to make poor choices over the next number of years. Some big “T” events finally got me to seek therapy and to deal with my bottled-up emotions of many years. What helped me most was the Rubenfeld Synergy Method. My emotions were locked into and stuck in my body. I am forever grateful for this life changing therapy and experience.
Fast forward to today, about 35 years later, I am well as a result of an ongoing practice of emotional, mental and physical self-care. I am always checking in with what is the right direction for myself. The tips, tools, and strategies that you will find on the Reset Zone app are some of many that I use regularly to keep myself in check.
I sincerely hope that you consider using Reset Zone as a part of your emotional self-care, so the impact of your small “t”s move out from your body. Don’t give the small “t”s a chance to add up and have the impact of a big “T”.
Of course, if you need support beyond the Reset Zone app, find an appropriate therapy or therapist. Check out www.rubenfeldsynergy.com to find a Rubenfeld Synergist like I did.
Or go to www.wellnesswrx.ca to find many types of therapy and therapists.
Heather Skoll is the Founder of Reset Zone and creator of the Reset Zone APP. Heather has a mission to help people find inner peace. Having lost her own sense of inner peace and well-being in the 1990’s, Heather spent years putting back the pieces of her life to regain her balance, strength, and inner calm, by challenging the chaos internally and around her. She attributes much of her comeback to becoming a Certified Kripalu Yoga Teacher and a Certified Rubenfeld Synergist. Heather believes that giving to others is the key to life’s happiness.
Fun Fact: Heather is 58 years old at the time this article was written. When she could be “retiring” instead she has chosen to develop an app and she is loving the journey.